@postaday 333; #postaday2011.

Tonight I spent 65 minutes on my favorite torture device, the HELLiptical at 24-Hour Fitness Hawaii Kai. When I do this, so much self examination occurs, and I compare myself to others, or to where I think people expect me to be, or where my mother wants me.

Impossible measurements. I wish! Oh, how I wish you knew how much I wished!

I worked up a sweat, I got my heart rate up, I plugged in and barely notice the people around me. I’m careful for my Achille’s heel, but, I work out as hard as I can.

Then I came home, I made dinner for my kids, I cleaned up the kitchen. I peeled off my clothes and tried not to look at my soft cream center, a zaftig universe of hills and valleys, thunder and lightning, tangles in my head, tangles on my head, achy hips, one or two zits, and a weather-predicting bunion. 

Eventually, after I brush my teeth, I have to apply the magic potions that give me hope and reason to get out of bed the next morning. I squeeze them onto my fingers, rub my hands together, take them to my cheeks, and finally look myself in the eye.

And believe it or not, I give myself a smile, and tell myself tomorrow I will be a better me.