Pride proud.

@postaday 206; #postaday2011.

Can you tell I’m pride proud? That I love my family so much I could pop? Sometimes it scares me. Sometimes I think that if I’m too proud, all of it will cave in and crumble. I always think I’m on a precipice. My young friend Monchalee mentioned today that she was born under the Chinese Zodiac sign of the Dog. So was I, but probably 24 years earlier than her. I’m an Earth Dog. Her statement got me thinking about why I am the way I am.

I wish I were as carefee as I looked! I am trying to raise my girls to be secure and strong, to encourage them to embrace their strengths, and yet I feel that I sometimes don’t get through. I know I’m supposed to let life happen to them. The thing is, I don’t want it to happen to them the way it happened to me. I want it to be better.

When the girls were younger we’d have to rescue them sometimes. We’d go back to school for books or jackets left behind. It would eat at me all weekend if they lost a water bottle somewhere. When I say we, I probably should say me. John is as much a parent to them as I am, but I think he doesn’t get as knotted up inside.

This week he’s home on vacation with the girls and amazing things are being accomplished by the three of them. I know John is herding cats when it comes to getting them to help,  but he’s a relentless coach who times tasks and rewards well. Last night we all went to the pool together so I could do my masters session. For nearly two hours the three of them enjoyed the pool, capped off by an impressive downpour that resulted in a smooth glassiness at the end of the evening. At the end of my session the girls said they were hungry, so we went home, they cleaned up and went to Zippy’s while I went to sleep. The last thing I need to do is eat right before bedtime, negating all of that swimming with my favorite ZipMin and a side of potato salad. Yes, deadly stuff.

It’s the last weekend before Hawaii DOE schools begin the 2011-12 session. We’re excited about the possibilities that this year will bring to our girls at Koko Head and Niu Valley. There will be ups and downs, there will be misplaced notebooks and school IDs, there will be days when they forgot their PE shoes. Then there will be days when the national test scores are released and my girls are magically hovering higher than I could ever dream when I was their age. I just know it. Someday they’ll be smart grown ups, and I’ll have some part in that.