Ever look imploringly at another person and know they weren’t telling you everything they could? Ever walk along with someone who asked you for advice and realized that although you had the answers, mileage varied from person to person and life to life, and it wasn’t the best idea to taint their future with your own perspective?
I’m still both of those people. I don’t know for sure if that ever changes. It would be a nice discussion with someone a bit more seasoned and softened to share with me. Bring the wine, put in the time, and tell me why you turned out the way you did.
Sometimes I get my Starbucks or visit the nearby saimin shop with a young colleague who is crisply in her 20s, single, in interesting relationships, and very bright. She’ll go places, but in the meantime there are inconveniences such as bills and friends and family that take her life into directions that don’t fit in her plan. And when she asks me about choices before her, I realize it’s something I cannot participate in. Maybe working in an industry where legal ramifications give us pause at every clause, the grownup me declines to weigh in. These are her decisions to make, and the credit of either positive or negative results need to rest squarely on her shoulders.
I didn’t want my blog to be part of the cacophony that tries to sort out yesterday’s national disaster that occurred in Arizona. I have a child born in June 2001, and when 9/11 hit, my post-partum depression took a free fall into a black hole. This shooting, including the death of the child born 9/11/01, pushed me toward that darkness this weekend. I am resisting it with every bit of my being. It is making me so sad.
Which leads me to this: There are opportunities to share wisdom and vulnerabilities, there are opportunities to go out on a limb and extend yourself beyond the trivial and the surface, and there are ways to show each other how it’s done while assuring we stay true to our selves. And unfortunately, all of these opportunities are fleeting. We never know when people we associate with will be plucked from our world.