Enduring the self-anointed expert.

@postaday 260; #postaday2011.

I bet she voted for President Obama, as did I. I bet she thought she was morally obligated to show her concern for a child with a cough. But really, I don’t know what she was thinking as she stopped the masters swim session last night to bring to my attention (and my coach — Kid1’s social studies teacher, and Kid1’s school principal)  that she noticed my daughter was coughing. News flash: Kid2 has been coughing since the first week of school. Why wouldn’t I be aware?

It was all I could do to not whip my right arm down and spray a wall of water at her. Really? You think I’m not AWARE?

Unsatisfied, she then went over to my daughters, who were playing in a different section of the pool and told them:

  • She was a teacher.
  • Apparently, their mother isn’t worried about them.
  • They could go to school and ask their teacher for medicine.
  • And Kid2 has whooping cough.
  • Which means that she is also a medical professional?
  • Hmmmmm.
This makes me wonder. How empty is this woman’s life? Has she a family? Has she a husband or a significant other? Does she love anyone? Does anyone love her? Is she satisfied with her profession? Or does she drip into lives like a bucket of paint thrown over the world in a cape of misery? Does she make the world groan? She made us groan!
I’m all for health care reform and access to medical care. I think it’s great that preventive health care is being pushed to the masses. But I do think you should reconsider going up to a mother in an East Oahu swimming pool ready to call her out on her parenting skills. Why?
  • You might get splashed.
  • You might have to identify yourself.
  • Your professional skills might be questioned.
  • You might walk away feeling like a horse’s ass. And that would be correct.
As is always the case for me, appropriate responses come later. Rather than waste them, let me put them here:
  • If you’re a teacher, then you’d be familiar with state and federal laws prohibiting the dispensing of medicines at school.
  • If you’re a doctor, you wouldn’t want to upset a child by telling her, without a parent present, what her diagnosis is. Especially in a swimming pool! Especially free of charge!
  • If you’re a Child and Family Services employee, then you would be familiar with the judicial path to attending to Hawaii’s families.
  • If your morals compel you to meddle in the business of strangers, then you could probably find plenty of those in need outside of a private swimming club setting.
In all of these cases, here are some free tips most people have already mastered in life by the time you’re a skinny-assed busybody dressed in Jane Fonda Workout clothes, leg warmers and a sweatband:
  • Mind Your Own Business.
  • Know when to shut your mouth.
  • Know the difference between a happy child and an unhappy child.
  • Know the difference between a healthy child and a child with a chronic disease.
  • Know the difference between a loved child and an abused child.
  • Know the difference between a mother in love with her children and a mother who is not.
  • Know when you’re way out of line.

By lavagal

Hawaii Kai wife and mom. Melanoma Stage 3a Cancer survivor. English Language Arts teacher, English Learners Coordinator, and Paraprofessional Tutor. Super sub teacher. Dormant triathlete. Road cyclist and Masters swimmer. Gardener. Mrs. Fixit. Random dancer. Music Curator. A teenager trapped in an aging body. Did you know 60 is the new 40? It is.


  1. It wasn’t someone I recognized, and I thought how ridiculous it was for her to suggest the girls ask their teachers for medicine! Maybe she was impersonating a teacher! Whoever she was, the big L on her forehead was missing.

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