Over the past couple of weeks I have been reading The Secret. A few years ago I watched the movie and a few months ago I felt like everything was going wrong so I decided to get all quantum physical and reframe my approach to life.
And things started turning around. Instead of getting a laundry list of everything I was doing wrong, the list was shorter! And instead of seeing my glass as half empty, I decided to turn this frown upside down and enjoy that there was half a glass of sparkling and refreshing enthusiasm sloshing with joy and ready to spill happily on anyone who wanted to share.
But things don’t always go right. The light turns red when you wish it wouldn’t, you hit a bump in the road that jars your fillings, you don’t get enough sleep. When those sort of things happened these past few weeks, I had to consciously let the events flow around me. React less. Accept more. Relax more. Think more. Developing story. Work in progress.
This last week of December I had to talk myself out of a knot of anger. Someone said something to me and I was upset. I was bent over a cutting board with a pairing knife, slicing pears, and I realized that I had hunched over tightly, had the knife in a death grip, and my hand, arm, shoulder, and neck were contorted because of how frustrated I was. Fortunately I realized it. I put the knife down, stood up straight, took a deep breath as I looked out the window and tried to talk myself into feeling better about things. It was hard. I was happy in my anger. But I realized that my anger and bitterness were actually a comfort zone of mine. And I decided I didn’t want to hang out there much anymore.
Probably everyone reaches these conclusions about themselves when they become grown ups. We’re not time lords who can jump into the police box that’s bigger on the inside and transport ourselves to a time that would set our lives on the path we wish we had taken. But if Dr. Who were to ever land in the backyard, you can bet I’d hitch a ride!
Short of that, we can make the path we are on better by changing our approach. Ask. Believe. Receive. Anticipate goodness and abundance. It takes a lot of work for me to be positive. I’ve had to grow away from that little girl who was beaten at home and beaten at school and who grew up expecting to be beaten at work. I have two very good reasons for wanting to change all that. They’re my daughters.