Patience, patient.

Pohinahina in our yard.
Pohinahina in our yard, one of several distractions from my cancer.

I don’t think I have any more cancer in my body, but because we cannot be sure, there is more to be done, and I need to be patient.

For the last three days or so, I’ve been distracted by my drain, which developed a clog, slowing the flow of fluid from my thigh, giving me a scare, and making me very uncomfortable. Since last night, I was having lower abdomen pain,  8-9 out of 10 on the happy-to-sad-face scale. I saved it all for my appointments today with my oncologist and my surgeon. Let’s face it. I’m ready to be off antibiotics, but I need to finish the course. My scar for the lymph nodes is healing, the knee is fine, I’m just hot, bored, antsy, and a little bit cranky thanks to being under house arrest. My second surgery was August 31, so we’re looking at nearly a month with a drain dangling from my leg. It’s gross, don’t even think it isn’t. My surgeon unclogged it. I will have it a few more days, continuing to log the fluid. If it continues to slow its flow, it can be removed in a couple of days. No photo. You’re welcome.

Lilikoi is taking advantage of my convalescence by going wild in the yard.
Lilikoi is taking advantage of my convalescence by going wild in the yard.

There are good things to think about. Like, here I was this morning at Kaiser Permanente Moanalua  with John and 16 years ago to the day I was there resting from giving birth to Sophie, who aced her APGARs and just about every test since. I cannot thank John enough for convincing me that becoming parents was what it was all about. It is.

Now I’m home here with Charlotte, who takes a different tack on life than her sister. She’s got a cough, so she keeps her distance. I ask about homework and the papers she was to turn in, and she give me a peek into her day. Both girls play their cards close. In that way, they are not like me at all. I’m a spill-the-beans-all-the-time kinda gal.

So, because of the discomfort this morning, I was depressed going into my oncology appointment. We talked about a couple of clinical trials that would be appropriate for me, but they are on the Mainland. I wasn’t feeling positive about any of it. Traveling should be for fun and a change of scenery. One of the trials hasn’t opened yet, but it may any day now. The doctor said the window is usually within 98 days of surgery for someone like me to participate. He’s going to call me a month from today for a phone appointment to see what we’ve decided — and that day, October 22, is our anniversary, 20 years!

It’s limbo time for me. I’ll be getting in touch with the clinical trial principals to see if I might be a candidate with them. That’s where I am. Thank you for your support. I should look at it as another month to heal, get stronger, and get a few things done in my life.