I don’t know about others, but when I get to work on Monday, it’s with a bit of a relief. The weekends are packed with family and personal activities. We do laundry, we cook, we go places. John and I might have a race. If we don’t, we train. The girls might have a community activity, or a school activity, or hang out with friends.
I get to my cube here at work, I sit down, I punch in on the virtual time clock, and my body decompresses. I literally feel as though I’m my bike’s back tire letting out a little bit of air. Tsssssssssssssssssssssssss………… But I can never completely disengage. I worry about all the other parts of my life that occur outside the cube. I am often told I cannot do anything about any of it. I’m to relax. I’m to let life take care of itself without me. I try to relax, but then the anxiety seeps in again.
Yesterday John and I did the Norman Tamanaha 15k run. Today I walk like an animated gif file. My thighs have responded and the message is clear: I need to run more. When I run, my first mile is full of ugh. The lower legs are grumpy. My second through my sixth miles are OK. I can find a mind-numbing rhythm and forget that I’m running. When I get beyond that, my hips start to go owwie. When I get toward the end, somehow I manage to pull out what I can to finish hard and strong. I am happy but breathless when I get to the finish line. In fact, yesterday John and I were one of those couples who finished holding hands. Wheeeeeee! Imagine that! He sacrificed his personal record to get me through this first of the Honolulu Marathon Readiness Series. Next are the 20k, 25k, 30k, and then a half marathon. My doctor would prefer I skip it. My 2012 goal is to meet my obligations, and that means applying myself in each of these events I signed up for. In 2013 I’ll rest. A few 10ks, a couple of triathlons, and I’ll be good. And so will my family. Part of me believes all of these fitness endeavors inspire them. Part of me believes I’m letting important things fall through the cracks.
I am not one of those women who can shut off other parts of her life while at work. Right now I’m waiting to hear about something regarding Kid2. My calendar is filling with appointments and dates to take care of family matters, to meet deadlines, to meet with colleagues. I wonder how life outside the cube manages without me. I do.