Today’s apology by Tiger Woods, and the MSNBC.com photo of him with his mother after the televised special report, got me thinking about marriage.
I like being married. I think gays and lesbians should be permitted to be married if they want.
I Googled the question, “Who invented marriage?” and found out that many people believe God did when he tore out Adam’s rib and shaped it into woman, er, Eve, who Adam declared bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. Too bad Eve wasn’t created first. Maybe the world would be run with a different point of view.
I also learned through my research that marriage was a contract between clans, with dowries to help seal the deal, with the agreement reinforcing the strength of the group. Love became an added-value benefit. I guess people either grew on each other or threw themselves off the cliff if they couldn’t take it.
Should we shelve marriage since we no longer need to trade women for cattle or arms to reinforce the strength of our relationships with neighboring clans? Should we shelve marriage so men and women can have sex with each other without repercussion?
Materially, messing around on your marriage is messy. I’m with Elin. I would have reacted the same way. I would not stand by my philandering ho of a man. It doesn’t only affect a man and a woman (and a woman and a woman and a woman, or a man, and a man, and a man), but it affects each of their families. And it does affect the third party and all that they’re about, like maybe roommates, spouses, etc. See? It gets really, really messy.
There are also a lot of camps when it comes to infidelity. Some say you’re cheating even if you fantasize about someone. Isn’t everyone guilty of that? Some say it’s cheating when you DM someone Tweet romantic nothings. Some say it’s when you steal a kiss in the elevator or in the parking garage with someone you really shouldn’t.
What do I think? If you’re a cocktail waitress and the king of professional golf wants some of your action, chances are he’s not looking for a meaningful relationship. If you accept, and you two have fun, he’s going to have as much fun as he can. He doesn’t plan on leaving his wife or his family, and you will remain a cocktail waitress, or a professional pole dancer or the cute little chick in the pro shop. You are not marriage material. It’s for fun. It’s a fling. It will end. Especially if he gives you his phone number and you sext him. It will so totally be over.
Few of us will get hit on by men or women in power, so we’ll never really know the tingle of having someone like that casting a smiling eye our way. We’ll entertain the thought of someone higher up the food chain at work, but then we think about blowing their minds with our amazing talents in bed and then having to call the coroner because we killed them. Think Private Benjamin, but with someone else’s husband. Yeah. Don’t go there.
Instead, think about the amazing time you and your spouse could have in bed. Go THERE. Think about THAT. Dig up those memories from the early flirting and dating days with the person you married. That fire is already smoldering, so breathe some life into it.
Marriage is the fabric of our society, it is base camp for couples, children, grands, the clan. Maybe it should be put off during the spring break of life, and only considered once we hit our 30s. Marriage is when you decide not only to have fun in bed with someone forever, but to also put up with the pain and hardship that will no doubt descend upon you from time to time. You stay, you endure, and your life together is a patchwork quilt, worn more here, reinforced there, a soft and comfortable cover for the family.