Thoughts Become Reality

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One of my dear friends from childhood named Sue, someone with whom I can spend a total of 15 minutes with every five years and still have a perpetual connection with (thanks to Facebook and perhaps thanks to our spirits), often gives her friends daily spiritual vitamins upon which to reflect. Today it was something from Marianne Williamson:

On Meeting Limits with Unlimited Thought
Our power lies in meeting limited circumstances with unlimited thought. It is not what happens to us, but what we choose to think about what happens to us, that determines what will happen next.
If our circumstances tempt us to think thoughts such as, “I’m such a loser,” “I will never have another chance,” “It will take forever for this situation to right itself,” or “I hate whoever is to blame for this,” then miracles, though they are programmed into the nature of the universe, cannot make their way into our awareness. They’re in the computer, but we’re not choosing to download them. With every thought we think, we either summon or block a miracle.
It is not our circumstances, then, but rather our thoughts about our circumstances, that determine our power to transform them. We choose in life whether to live in victimization or in victory. We have power either way – power to use against ourselves, or power to use to free ourselves. The point is that we always have the choice, and it’s not always as simple as it appears.
- Marianne Williamson

This hits on several areas in my life. First of all, I think it is a miracle that I have such a great husband and these two lovely daughters who care and love me so much. I do not love myself as much as they do. I should. I need to work on that constantly.

Secondly, while it is such a gift to be a freelance writer and to write articles in my shady and private backyard office, it gets a little tough when the checks take a long time to come in. It’s not that stable. That’s why I am a substitute teacher (believe me, having the summer off with my family has been GREAT! School starts Friday. Yay!). So I’m happy to be writing, it helps me stay relevant as a journalist, and it keeps me in touch with my community and people who are important. But honestly, I feel like I need a miracle every month to stay solvent, which is why I still send out my resume. There must be a few hundred versions of it out there right now.

Finally, being a triathlete is crazy. As a kid I loved to swim, bike and run around. I didn’t have my children until I was past 40, so I could do all kinds of things for a long time before they were born. But after they were born, I got sluggish and fat and that also makes your self esteem and soul turn to mush. At 50 I started to do triathlons. Do I train to win? Of course I do! Do I win? No. Not unless everyone else is out of town doing full-blown Ironmans or other endurance events. I try really hard to do my best. During my last half Ironman, which was Honu in Kona a few months ago, I struggled during my ride and my run. The self talk was all about “never again.” Thank goodness I had friends along the course who interrupted me with their cheers and support. I would have happily fallen into a lava tube to die. When I finished just minutes before the clock wound down, it felt like a miracle. And it was, woven by the voices of friends, the unbearable heat that I wanted to get away from, the desire to be done with it.

Reprogramming myself to understand that my thoughts control the gate through which miracles arrive is difficult, but it makes sense. If I want to attract something wonderful and fulfilling or even a conversation with someone I want to spend time with, I have to appear ready, I have to be available, and I have to be receptive.

Thinking positively. Peace.

My Third Metric: Writing for You and Me.


Yesterday the automatic payment to renew my WordPress website was charged to my credit card. Lavagal.net is a blog that has yet to make any money. It wasn’t really designed to make any money, but I figured that it would generate the feel-good currency of followers, hits, comments and pitches. I believe this blog has value. The value increases every time I draw in a reader who finishes an entry to the end, gives my words some thought and takes a step toward being healthy, making something delicious to eat, or thinks about getting married.

As a free-lance writer, it’s important that my words provide a return on investment. So I hope my blog also will lead to writing assignments. My experience as a former newspaper reporter, business writer, and corporate writer helps, too. I am grateful.

As a free-lance writer, my income is sparse and scattered. I’ve learned to live with less. I am married so I do have a safety net.

As a free-lance writer, there is no choice. I’m forced to adjust my economic sails to embrace this thing called the Third Metric, where people are encouraged to put personal preservation above material goods, money and power. The Third Metric is a big deal on the Huffington Post website, but I find it ironic that people with money and power are telling the rest of us that focusing on money and power will destroy us, or something like that. Well, I’ll take money to pay for Kid1&2′s college bills in a few years, to complete some projects around the house and to take a trip once a year. Please don’t tell me I should embrace life with less money when money pours into your accounts at rates beyond my comprehension. Don’t.

So that’s why I’m a lonely voice in the Aloha State who thinks hitching my blog to HuffPostHawaii for no return on investment is a no-win situation. Obviously, I didn’t make the list for the big party the other night, and I had to get off social media so I wouldn’t have to see all my friends’ updates and Instagrams about the emperor’s new clothes.

This blog is awesome. When the HuffPostHawaii idea was first floated, I got in touch with the editor and she liked lavagal.net. But I’m not a college student, a beginner 20- or 30-something in communications, or a full-time public relations executive who can write her little blog on the side for free.

I have to respect my skill, my words, my work. I cannot give them away for free.

I understand that not all bloggers are journalists, traditionally. Not all bloggers went to journalism school like I did. Some bloggers stick to their interests such as anime, recipes, fashion, music and sports. Blogging is a way to journal about what’s going on. It may or not get hits.

But for me, blogging and writing professionally go hand-in-hand. I cannot help but reflect on current events, such as the time there was a shooting near Kalani High School on Kalanianaole Highway a few years ago.

I know that my blog entries connect with plenty of people in and out of Hawaii. This is real life. The flow of lavagal is decidedly different from the silly scratch-the-surface stuff you might find about Hawaii on some other big, shiny and pretty website. I hope you’ll agree.

Mahalo for reading.

Love, Me.

Me and MiniMe

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Do you ever wish you could step back in time and let your younger you in on a few things? I feel like I have that chance, sort of, with my Kid2, aka MiniMe. Yesterday, she and I had another … Continue reading

A Kiss is Not Just a Kiss.

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@postaday 342; #postaday2011. While reading an article in the New York Times Magazine’s online edition entitled “Operation Seduction,” my editor asked me if I’d write a story about health and wellness and the family and my husband chided me for … Continue reading

Happy 16th Anniversary, John


@postaday 301; #postaday2011.

John. Quite a handsome guy!

John and I started dating in 1991, we got married in 1995, and we had our children in 1999 and 2001. It’s like riding the rapids most of the time. It’s fun, it’s scary, it’s agony and it’s ecstasy.

We are very different from each other, which is probably why it works, most of the time. Bumps in the road? We’ve had more than a few. Do I care to elaborate? Hellas NO! Suffice it to say I test the limits of John’s love all the time. Like in that movie “The Right Stuff,” where Chuck Yeager tests the limits of the itty-bitty rocket aircraft and flies it so far and high that he sees the curve of the earth? Sometimes there’s a charred wreck of an argument we manage to survive and walk away from, together. I’m sure it’s that way for everyone.

I don’t know if anyone ever thought that our marriage would or wouldn’t last, but it’s been a pretty good run so far. Let’s give credit to a guy who spotted me at work years ago and liked what he saw. That he was OK with my being outgoing and a flirt and spontaneous. And John has surprised me, too. There actually are things I’m rather timid about, things that scare me. He gives me the attagirl pep talks and asks “why not?” when I’m trying to avoid something scary or thrilling or uncomfortable. And then when I do it, I wonder what the heck was I waiting for?

Sometimes we ask each other that when we think about the time we were together before we were married, or how long it took for us to have our daughters. I believe in timing, and I believe in fate, and I believe that the lives we’ve lived shape our present, and our behavior today determines our future. I expect we’ll be OK. I expect there will be ups and downs, there will be me being stubborn and him being all knowing and smart and we’ll always find a way to keep it fresh. Because I believe the couples we admire most for their life-long companionship are those who never lose sight of those early, heart-racingly fresh days.