Pineapple Run, before.

Kim and me before the run.

One of the bigger hills between stands of eucalyptus. Smelled so good.

This is a busy

John and our twin pineapples.

weekend in Honolulu. I wasn’t in today’s Honolulu Triathlon, but many of my Try Fitness Hawaii friends were. Yesterday I was in the Wahiawa Pineapple 10k Run. John and I each scored a fresh pineapple. How fun is that?

This morning I joined our Tinman training team, a handful of us, for a bicycle ride out to Hawaii Kai and back to Kahala. Normally, I launch from my Hawaii Kai home to Diamond Head or some other summit like Kamiloiki or Makapu’u, and then back. Today was a ride where I was told to spin in a very low gear and match my pedaling with the leader. Spinning in the wild is frustrating for me. I want to pour it on and get power out of every stroke. But I guess this is the art of motion, the calorie burn, the cardio expenditure, the practice that will help me when

Me, after. Next week? Hibiscus 13.1.

I’m in a real race. I’m learning to be part of a team, how to conserve my energy, how to share an experience.

The climb up to the back of Lunalilo Home Road took a lot of effort. I think I’m getting better at hills. Here are today’s stats. I’m not real impressed with the speed, but I’ll get over it. My heart rate monitor needs a new battery, so there’s no reading for heart rate expenditure today.

Here are yesterday’s stats from the Pineapple Run. Out of 42 women in my age group, I came in 24th. There are a lot of hills in Wahiawa. I did alright. Results.

These disciplines spill over into my family and professional lives. I believe the effort I make while working out results in my being realistic about my goals, how I relate to others, and how well I can make this body.

I am no one’s competition.

I’ve had chili pepper bandannas for a long time to dab my sweat and tears.

There are some of you who know me and will say to yourself:

• I’m a better writer than her.
• How did she get him to marry her?
• What kind of mother is she?
• I can swim, run, and bike better than she can.
• She’s fat.
• She’s got the worst hair.
• She tells stupid jokes and she’s so not funny.

I am embarrassed by my mistakes, I’m forgetful, and I let my family and friends down a lot.

I wish I didn’t. I wish I were better. And I guess that’s why I’m not ready to give it all  up and say I don’t give a sh^t. Because I do. The swimming, running, and biking are ways I deal with my body and my body image. This blog is how I deal with the demons in my head, and the occasional personal victory and attagirl I want to give myself. At work I try, try, try.

Last night I rode my bicycle up Kilauea Avenue three times. It wasn’t that hard. It wasn’t that easy. And although I was with a group, I had to break away, I had to do it at my own pace and not on someone else’s wheel. At the top I circled a few times before descending, heart still racing, double-vision from my tears that seem to fall when the wind blows at my face.

At the bottom I reach for my bandanna and dab my eyes, down shift, and head back up.

Seems I’m always dabbing my eyes and heading back up.

A Photosynth edited with Superimpose to bring two photos together. Baby Portlocks. VFFs. Daughters with surfboard. Chillin’.

On Mother’s Day I got myself to Hunakai Park by 7 a.m. for the third day of the first week of my Honolulu Tinman triathlon training with Try Fitness Hawaii. The company’s focus is training for women. I considered joining other groups, but since I knew a few of the women already involved, I felt less intimidated.

I like to work out alone. I run alone, I swim alone, I ride my bike alone. When I see other groups on their bikes, I kinda feel a little smug about having already done Kamiloiki and Makapu’u hills when they come huffing and puffing up while I’m tucked in and screaming back down. I’m not even lonely. I’m pretty comfortable hanging out with just me. When you ride with someone, you can’t really talk to them unless you get to a traffic light or a safety emergency occurs.

At Starbucks after my workout with John. My Hippy Chick jersey. I saw a biker chick and told her I was one, too. She didn’t get it. LOL.

It took the Lanikai Triathlon in April, my first, to get me to reconsider my strategies. I can do all these things, but I can only do them so well by myself. And I learned doing them together is a real bite in the a$$. Form. Processes. Self-talk. Competition. Zen.

My husband can tell me not to slouch when I’m running, but it was KC Carlberg, the woman who owns Try Fitness, who told me that it looked like my foot placement wasn’t quite right, which might explain the perpetual knee pain of my right leg. So on the first day I got some advice on running and swimming, on the second day I got some advice on riding and running, and on the third day, I had to reign in my impulse to break away from the wahine on bikes and kick my own butt. I feel like a filly with potential, reluctant to admit she could learn a few things. But I signed on and paid the fee. Now teach me!

Mother’s Day at my house isn’t what you’d expect. The evening before I prepped all kinds of veggies and steak to marinate and grill. Why? Because I didn’t want to be doing that on Mother’s Day. I wanted to clear the decks for fun. We went to a nearby beach, set up our chairs, brought the SUP and surfboard, and enjoyed the day. There were waves where there are usually none, so it was really challenging for me to SUP, since I do it so infrequently. The girls hung out on the surfboard while I paddled out on my knees, got up for a little bit on my feet, and then paddled back in on my knees. This really kills my right knee. It was just too bumpy for me to feel good about staying up on my feet the whole time. But the day was really pretty.

I went in, gave the SUP to the girls and they hung out in the water with John while I shot pics and gifs with my iPhone. Since it was Mother’s Day, like clockwork, there was a swell. From my chair I watched the baby waves roll in. When I got too hot, I called for the SUP and decided to surf on it. The SUP is 9’2″, 28″ by 4″ and is a heavy mofo of a new board. It’s got padding on it, too. I was wearing my Vibram Five Fingers, and the toes would drag when I was trying to get up, but eventually I did. I rode a couple of waves on that monster board. It was sooo hard to maneuver, but the fun of surfing all came back to me.

I realized it had been about three years since I had last paddled out. When I got up on my feet, I didn’t even think about pain or injuries, I didn’t even feel my Achilles tendon that had burst a few years ago. I didn’t even realize that until later that evening. How cool is it that on Mother’s Day I decided it was time for me to start going surfing again?

You know my schedule. OMG. When am I going to do all the things I wanna do when there’s so much I gotta do? LOL. The Hubs just signed me up for the 2013 Hapalua! Yeah, BABY!

I know what I’ll do. I’ll try like a mother to tri like a mother.